Janelle E. Wells, Ph.D., and Doreen MacAulay, Ph.D.
Our (In)visible Work
As Thanksgiving approaches, millions of families across America will gather around tables loaded with turkey, mashed potatoes, and pies, eagerly catching up with loved ones and celebrating the season’s warmth. However, for the host behind these festivities, Thanksgiving often brings a less visible experience of the heavy lifting required to make these gatherings happen.
The truth is that hosting Thanksgiving is not just about cooking the perfect turkey or setting a beautiful table. It’s about the often unnoticed labor of preparation, coordination, and care that’s rarely acknowledged.
The Invisible Labor of Hosting a Holiday
Popularized by sociologist Arlene Kaplan Daniels, the concept of invisible work argued that unpaid domestic work, especially emotional and relational labor, often goes unrecognized due to gendered expectations around caregiving. At gatherings like Thanksgiving, hosts typically take on extensive planning, cooking, cleaning, and emotional regulation to ensure a smooth event.
According to a study published in the American Sociological Review, women continue to bear the majority of household responsibilities, especially in hosting family gatherings. They often do so without acknowledgment, as family members and guests are primarily focused on enjoying the holiday, rather than the work required to create the experience.
Planning Thanksgiving involves more than preparing a meal. Hosts spend hours planning, often weeks ahead of time, coordinating dishes, accounting for dietary restrictions, and preparing the house and ingredients, sometimes juggling multiple shopping trips.
Much of the financial burden also falls on the host. According to the American Farm Bureau Federation and LendingTree, the cost of a traditional Thanksgiving meal has risen 25 percent over the last five years, and some hosts have even gone into debt to cover the costs associated with the meal. This financial strain is seldom discussed but highlights the economic implications of invisible labor for holiday hosts.
In addition to physical and financial aspects, Thanksgiving hosting is emotionally labor intensive. The concept of emotional labor, coined by sociologist Arlie Hochschild, refers to managing one’s emotions to maintain harmony in social situations.
Weeks ahead of Thanksgiving, when the group texts and discussions begin, hosts often work to create a pleasant atmosphere and manage family dynamics, carefully steering conversations, minimizing conflicts, and ensuring everyone feels welcome. This emotional labor is a critical but often unacknowledged part of Thanksgiving gatherings, as people, particularly families, bring complex interpersonal histories to the table. Gatherings tend to place unique emotional demands on hosts, who often bear responsibility for managing tensions to create an enjoyable experience for all.
Finally, the cleanup phase represents yet another layer of invisible labor. After guests depart, hosts often face hours of washing dishes, storing leftovers, and tidying up. A study by sociologist Allison Daminger emphasizes that cleanup after social gatherings disproportionately falls to women, even when male partners or family members are present. (So, the next time you just want to go sit back on the couch and finish watching football, try to remember the host may also want to sit down for the first time that day.)
It’s Not Just Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving hosting is just one example of how invisible labor—spanning financial, physical, and emotional domains—is deeply embedded in cultural rituals. Recognizing and valuing this labor challenges traditional assumptions about caregiving and domestic work, fostering a more equitable and appreciative approach to holiday gatherings. Acknowledging this labor, offering help, or sharing the costs are simple but impactful ways to support those who make these celebrations possible.
